Linkedin

So, I've finally linked in. I really only did because of peer pressure. Have you heard of this queer social networking thing, Linkedin? As one of my friends said, it's the Facebook for old people. I don't like networking, or basically talking to people in real life, so I certainly don't want people shooting me e-mails all day. After several invites to "link in," however, I finally broke down and "joined." I didn't do the whole profile thing. I just put my name and my job, and that's it. I've never fucked with it since. However, I do get tons of e-mails from people asking me to join them or link up with them (I have no idea what the real cyber-phrase is).

This is where the whole Linkedin thing gets interesting. Apparently, people in the network measure their worth by the number of contacts they have. I've had people send me an invite and they already have, like, a MILLION contacts! Really? You like THAT many people? You fucking ass-kisser!

But truly the reason I've started to embrace this whole Linkedin thing is because it's kind of like high school. You can pick and choose your peeps. So, here's how it works ...

You get an e-mail from someone who wants to "link up" or "network" with you (again, I don't know the correct terminology), and then you have a couple of choices. You can either choose (and I'm paraphrasing), "Yes, link me up with this person" OR you can choose "I don't know this person." OK, so first flaw of the Linkedin system. There should be a choice that says, "Um, not in a million fucking years would I EVER link up with you ... poser asshole.  I HATE you!"  But, there's not a choice like that. Shoot!

So now I have this guy I know - who I HATE - who has sent me an invite to link in with him. I have no idea how he doesn't know that the last thing I would ever want to do is link in (AKA get herpes) from him. How does this guy not know how much I hate him? Well, he might wonder now. He's the only invite I haven't accepted. So week after week I get a reminder e-mail that he's still sitting there, waiting for me to link up with him. Never gonna do it! It's kinda cool. In person, I suppose I could never tell him I hate him and don't want to talk with him when he approaches me to network, but online, I can blow him off until he gets the hint. Hopefully.