The Poop Couch
So remember that one day I was all rowdy about the saltines someone left on the table in our office kitchen? So that's what our kitchen used to look like. It used to have an actual dining area. Today, however, they dismantled the table that was home to all the gross, stale leftover meeting morsels, and the occasional saltine, and they installed this GIANT poop-colored couch.
Oh, and did I mention the poop couch has several poop stains on it?
Why?!? Why?!? Do we want a poopy couch in our kitchen? I've been watching all day and not one person has relaxed on the shit sofa. Plus, it's like a totally used, beat-up, crappy couch. Like the intern brought it in straight from his house in college. In fact, I think we had a shitty couch in our kitchen in college. But that's because if we weren't drinking booze, we were laying on a couch, and in the kitchen a couch was convenient and closer to the Ramen noodles ... and more beer.
I am going to be on 8-hour-couch-watch every day now. I need to see what the purpose is of this giant, disgusting piece of living room furniture in our kitchen. Will someone actually sit on it? Next to the garbage? Watching everyone come in and make their coffee and blow their lunches up in the microwave? And where will all the leftover meeting food go? What will happen to the daily e-mail alerting us that there's "food in the kitchen?" And finally, our poor receptionist, who normally is chained to her desk and is the ONLY person who actually ate at the lunchroom table ... where will she eat? I'm sure she's going to have to balance her food on her lap while she sits and sinks into the dooked up davenport.
I'll let you know what happens.
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