I love mac and cheese. I can't believe anyone who wouldn't. It was my fave growing up. I loved the Kraft Mac and Cheese. Back then you had to add butter and milk with the powder. I always made my mom make it soupy. And the worst was when she tried to make it more healthy by putting tuna in it. That ruined the whole dish! Then, in college, we'd just eat it with whatever ingredients we had. Sometimes I ate that shit with just the powder and water because I had no butter or milk in my dorm room. Then they came out with the Velveeta Shells and Cheese. OOOOOOH! That was AWESOME! You didn't have to fuck around with all the other ingredients and it was soooooo good.
Of course the older you get, the fatter you get, and the less you can eat. I have found a particular diet brand of mac and cheese that I quite enjoy. I won't mention the brand because the last time I had it, I found two SUPER long hairs in it. And by found, I mean I actually started eating the strands before I realized what it was. There is nothing grosser than noticing you have a stranger's hair in your mouth and then pulling it out. I shudder just thinking of it again.
I tried to be rational and do the "what's the worst" game. Like is it THAT bad that I almost ate someone else's hair? Or maybe it was my hair, and would that be gross, too? Yet, I was sure that it wasn't my hair because it was really buried in there. My hair would have fallen on top where I could have clearly seen it. So, again, what is the HUGE deal about having someone's hair in my mouth? It didn't work.
I immediately threw the rest of the meal away and I haven't been able to eat it since! I CANNOT! I still have two left in my freezer and I just open the freezer door and I'm completely skeeved. And now everything else I eat, I compulsively look through it in search of hair. People, I AM CRAZY! I need more help than just the one cocktail of antipsychotics I already take. Look out for me on an upcoming episode of "Obsessed."
I found these photos on Radaronline.com. This is the DUMBEST thing I've ever seen. First of all, unfortunately Jon Gosselin has moved to NYC. As I said before, the LAST thing we need is another douchebag in this city. Nevertheless, here he is. Secondly, for someone who claims he doesn't like the fame that his TLC TV show created, this asshole certainly goes out of his way to give photogs a perfect, albeit cliched, photo shoot.
Seriously, these photos look like Jon is shooting a scene from Sex and the City. NOBODY sits and poses on the rocks or fountains like this. Where's his horse-drawn carriage ride? Or a strategically timed photo of him row-boating in Central Park Lake? And, DAMMIT, would somebody please force him to wear something other than those stupid T-shirts? Has anyone looked dumber?
Well, OK, maybe I'm not just mad that he's such a huge poser. Maybe it just pisses me off that these photos show more than one cliche. How come when there's a divorce, the guy suddenly becomes "free" while the wife is saddled with, in this case, eight kids? Who does this guy think he is? He pretty much blamed the dissolution of his marriage on his wife wanting fame, when in fact, he's just as guilty. What a joke! The guy has eight kids. He doesn't contribute AT ALL to their financial needs, and he gets to bust around NYC (living in a multi-million dollar apartment) AND France posing and dating a million girls. I just don't even know what to say.
Because I'm so well-educated and on an eternal path to knowledge, I was looking at my atlas this morning. I have one of those giant blue books, the National Geographic Atlas of the World. Of course, I think mine is from the 90's so it's probably pretty outdated, still I think the important stuff stays the same. I mean, really, if you just up and change your country's name or borders whenever you feel like it, then you have to expect it to take some time to stick with the rest of us.
Anyway, I was just looking up this island I have been to in the Philippines because I couldn't remember where it was, and I ended up engrossed in the entire book - I guess wondering what places would be cool to visit. I came to the giant world map in the front and noticed that it wasn't really a flat map. It was drawn as if it was a globe opened up and laid flat, representing that, in fact, the Earth is round. I chuckled to myself and shook my head at all of our dumb anscestors who actually thought the Earth was flat. Idiots. Then it hit me. Why WOULD'NT they think the Earth was flat, and how in the HELL did they ever determine that it was instead round? That's just craziness!
How would it actually even enter one's mind that the Earth might not be flat? It doesn't seem like something you would think to challenge. The Earth doesn't feel round. It doesn't look round, when you're on it. It's just land that goes on and on. I would have been fine with that explanation, or no explanation at all. Like what kind of brainiac psycho lays up in his bed and thinks, "I'm just not feelin' this flat theory. Something's not right." I guarentee that guy never got laid.
Also, looking at the maps, I really found it amazing that someone was able to draw the exact shape of each continent and country and territory within. Without being able to see everything from a distance, how did they translate the rough edges of the land to paper? Just amazing.
These anscestors of ours were damn smart. I wonder what they could've done had they had access to the kind of technology we have today.
One of the cool things, I think, about NYC is that while it's a huge, exciting city, it's still near water, and beaches. And while most of us are trapped in the city with no car, we can still take a train and get to the beach. There's Coney Island, Brighton Beach, etc. Normally, tho, I don't do the burrough beaches (they seem like they would be gross and dirty) and I take the Long Island Railroad to Long Beach. It's a beautiful beach I think. But this weekend, I headed to Rockaway Beach, which I think is in Queens, and it wasn't all that bad. AND, you can take the subway all the way there!
Here's the subway crossing some channel of water to get to the beach. Could be cute, but you still know you're not outside the city by the strategically abandoned boat with the graffiti on it.
Then, you get to the beach it seems OK.
That is, of course, until people come!!! Here's a whole gaggle of NY beachgoers with the stereotypical Hispanic rap cranking and a stroller full of babies with 16-year-old moms.
If you look closer, you will see future castmates for MTV's reality show "16 and Pregnant" laying all over each other. Seriously, it's NEVER appropriate to lay all over each other on the beach. It's just gross.
It was really annoying watching these idiots dry hump to the beat of their annoying music, but it gets worse. Yes. after throwing Cheetos all over the place, which attracted a horrific scene from The Birds, these assholes finally packed up and left. And by left, I mean they left all their trash just sitting there! There was a trash can not 15 feet away from them!
That's how you know you're still in New York City. I swear I have seen squatters in the Philippines who have more respect for their land than these people. New Yorkers have got to be the filthiest, most entitled and inconsiderate assholes around.
I will stick to my beach on Long Island, thank you very much.
Imagine my surprise when I was perusing NY Daily News and saw this article about Jon Gosselin hanging out in St. Tropez with his "girlfriend" Hailey Glassman. Are you kidding me?!? This chick is only 23 years old and she's OK dating a douchebag dad with EIGHT (often asshole) kids?! How can that be? When I was 23, I was drinking beers in eights, not dating guys who pump out kids in eights! He's not even divorced yet! And this isn't even the same 23-year-old that he was banging while he was married. It's a totally different 23-year-old. Despite his baggage and his gay earrings and his poser clothes, Jon must have something going on. Maybe that stereotype about Asians and their small penis size isn't true.
Seriously, though, I can't believe this chick actually wants to date Jon. She is the daughter of the guy who performed Kate's tummy tuck, so maybe the doc offered a trade ... free plastic surgery on the show which equals free publicity in exchange for his 23-year-old daughter. Hmmm.
Either way, this girl is an idiot. Think about it. First, Jon cheats on his wife with some trashy local (and lies about it), then he cheats on the trashy local with the tummy tuck daughter. Anyone else see a pattern here?
Jon Gosselin shows off new girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, while in St. Tropez
Sunday, July 12th 2009, 2:43 PM
It didn’t take long for Jon Gosselin to bounce back from his broken marriage.
Less than three weeks after wife Kate Gosselin filed for divorce, the "Jon & Kate Plus 8" patriarch showed off a new girlfriend during a trip to St. Tropez on Saturday.
The 32-year-old father of eight traveled to the South of France with Hailey Glassman, the daughter of the doctor who performed his wife’s tummy tuck.
News of Gosselin’s new girlfriend may come as a shock to those following the "Jon & Kate" drama, as the other woman in question has been 23-year-old Deanna Hummel.
Even after news broke of Gosselin’s alleged affair with the school teacher, the couple continued to see each other, as well as take a snowboarding vacation to Utah in March.
While Gosselin’s relationship with Hummel became somewhat public, his "friendship" with Glassman went under the radar.
Gosselin denied any wrongdoing when he was photographed hanging out with Glassman and her mother, Lauren, at the Front Street Bar and Grill in Newburgh, NY on Memorial Day.
"The two women with whom I’ve been photographed are family friends," Jon told People.com. "Lauren’s husband, Dr. Larry Glassman, performed Kate’s tummy tuck surgery, and since the surgery we’ve become friendly with the Glassmans."
Apparently, Gosselin’s definition of "friendly" differs from most others.
An Ed Hardy-clad Gosselin and his 22-year-old new girlfriend were seen smoking cigarettes and holding hands while in the French Riviera, where they also took a ride on fashion designer Christian Audigier’s yacht.
OK, so there are millions of problems with reality TV, but the one that bothers me the most is the way these "reality stars" talk. Half of a reality show is when the castmates are interviewed with some cheesy background. Nobody can just answer a question without a question! I think we need scripts for the reality show interviews to ban this type of answer. It's always the castmate repeating the question and then almost always answering with "absolutely!" For example:
- "Do I want to get engaged after dating a guy (who probably already has a girlfriend) four times? Absolutely!" - Jillian, the clueless Bachelorette with, um, the good personality? Watching her make out with these guys is disgusting! And I feel bad because NONE of the guys really like her. Poor Jill.
- "Do I think my ass is too big to marry a white guy? Absolutely!" - Kim Kardashian, who didn't seem to have too many questions in her sex tape. Well, you know, her mouth was full.
- "Am I embarrassed that I'm the first person to have sex in the house after which I immediately got a flare-up of herpes? Absolutely!" - Joey from The Real World Cancun. Dude one word ... Valtrex!
- "Did I have repeated sex with a crinkly, Viagra-popping, 132-year-old "playboy" in exchange for my GIANT fake boobs so that I could flash them ALL THE TIME no matter how uncomfortable it makes my new husband? Absolutely!" - Kendra "Tits" Wilkinson. I give that marriage six months!
- "Do I feel bad for berating, demeaning and pretty much yelling at my soon-to-be ex-husband every minute of our marriage? No, not really. I'm rich and famous and he deserved it!" - Kate Gosselin, who would never apologize for anything, including inflicting her ridiculous hairdo on American pop culture.
