3 posts tagged “duggars”
Well, I've posted about this crazy mega-family a million times in the past - yes, that's one time for every child they have. And, here we go again. Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar are expecting a NINETEENTH child! Who knew these hicks could even count to 19?!? I'm done! I'm out of jokes. I have nothing else to say about these weirdos.
- Aside from the fact they are completely environmentally irresponsible, which is kind of ironic since the HUGE carbon footprint they are leaving from having so many kids will actually affect their kids and their kids' kids the most because they will outnumber normal people on this Earth.
- And aside from the grotesque realization that Michelle Duggar's vagina has to be so giant that it's up there with the Great Wall of China as things visible from outer space. Forget about the Grand Canyon. Buy tickets to fly a helicopter into Michelle's peekacho. It's certainly bigger and more action packed although probably less scenic.
- AND aside from the fact that none of their kids get a real childhood because the minute they are old enough, they take on the role of mommy or daddy to one of their younger siblings. Then again, since they're brought up ONLY to be mommies and daddies, I guess it works.
- And, finally, aside from the inevitible potato shortage our nation faces because of the sheer gross tonnage used in the Duggars' famous tater tot casserole.
Aside from all of this, I really have nothing to say!
Well, here we go again! Update on the family in which ALL of the women should have their legs super-glued shut! And the men should be snipped, if you know what I mean. These damn Duggars are pumping out more kids! So, remember when I told you about the eldest Duggar, Josh, marrying his "girlfriend" whom he never dated nor did he even kiss before their wedding? Well, Josh and Anna have been married for, oh I don't know, a minute and she is knocked up already! Apparently, they are following the same path of their parents and will be turning Anna's vagina into a machine gun that shoots out a thousand kids per minute.
OK, so I guess they can do whatever they want, but people, we need to keep an eye on this family! They have 18 kids, and supposedly according to the title of their reality show they are still counting. Math isn't my greatest subject, but let's talk this out. If all 18 kids follow their parent's path and "leave it up to God to decide the amount of children they birth" (meaning they refuse to bag it or block it in any way), then it's possible they all could have 18 kids themselves (and that's being conservative), which would be more than 300 Duggars populating this Earth within the next couple of decades. And then if those kids have 18 kids, and on and on. What will happen? That's more than the entire population of Arkansas! They will spread further south and west and maybe even - God forbid - east! The nation's thrift stores won't be able to keep up enough inventory to clothe all these weirdos. We won't be able to go anywhere without running into long-haired fem-mulleted girls in floor-length jean skirts and overly hairsprayed boys in striped golf shirts. Our national anthem will be changed to Kumbya. The theory of evolution will be all but wiped out! The overpopulation of the Duggars in this nation will only cause us to become a less attractive, more crazy country. In my opinion, this needs to be stopped. Can we spike the girls' food with birth control pills? Can we roll on a bunch of rubbers when the boys aren't looking? We need to ban together and think of something to save this great country of ours!
18 kids, 1 grandkid: Duggars announce pregnancy
Monday, April 13, 2009
(04-13) 07:10 PDT Springdale, Ark. (AP) --
Josh and Anna Duggar are following in the family tradition. Josh, the eldest of Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar's 18 kids, announced Monday that he and new bride Anna were about to start their own brood. The couple, who's been married since September, said Anna Duggar is due Oct. 18.
"I am three months right now and feeling great. Morning sickness is pretty much all gone, and so we're looking forward to the birth of our baby," Anna Duggar told NBC's "Today" show Monday.
The Duggars live in northwest Arkansas and are featured on the cable TV show, "18 Kids and Counting." Michelle Duggar most recently gave birth in December, to Jordyn-Grace. Along with Josh and Jordyn, Michelle and Jim Bob are parents to: Jana, 19; John-David, 19; Jill, 17; Jessa, 16; Jinger, 15; Joseph, 14; Josiah, 12; Joy-Anna, 11; Jeremiah, 10; Jedidiah, 10; Jason, 8; James, 7; Justin, 6; Jackson, 4; Johannah, 3; and Jennifer, 2.
Josh Duggar said he and his wife haven't yet picked out a name, but are leaning toward establishing a theme with the future children's names.
"We're pretty sure we're not going to go with J," Josh Duggar said.
Josh, who is 21, and Anna, who is 20, live in Springdale, where they run a car dealership. He said he and his new wife are frequently asked whether they'll have a large family.
"We have committed leaving that area up to God as far as our family size," he said.
Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar said they're thrilled to become grandparents, although the new baby won't be much older than their youngest, 4-month-old Jordyn.
"I had nieces and nephews that were about the same age as me, and it was great," said Michelle Duggar, who was the youngest of seven children. "I just enjoy growing up in a large family. I really think that Jordyn is going to have a lot with her new little friend coming."
OK, quick and hilarious update on my last post Close your legs already!
Looks like other people know - and make fun of - the Duggars, too. This is one of those parodies on the inspirational posters. Totally funny! I'm obsessed with these people now!
